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00:03 Speaker 1: Welcome to The Art of Hope podcast with your host Chadwick Sapenter.

00:08 Chadwick Sapenter: If you're willing to dream bigger than whatever your environment is then anything is possible.

00:12 S1: It's time to create the path to your success by overcoming your past, embracing your present and outlining your future.

00:20 CS: Today that goal becomes a reality.

00:22 S1: Every journey begins with the first step. So let's begin. The Art of Hope podcast.

00:32 CS: Welcome to The Art of Hope. This is episode seven. My name is Chadwick Sapenter. So today on episode seven we're gonna be talking about pressure. What is pressure? How are you dealing with pressure? What does it mean to experience pressure in your life? See, for many of us, there's pressure that comes externally. Family, friends, things like that, whether... Peer pressure and all of that type of shit but the real pressure that comes is with you deciding to become the person that you are supposed to be. The pressure... Pressure will expose you. Pressure will expose you for who you really are. It's going to define what it is you actually stand for when the heat gets turned up. You see, pressure is a process of squeezing all that is weak, all that is fragile, all that is timid out of us.

01:42 CS: And we need pressure. You see, because you don't know who you are when everything is comfortable. You don't know who you are when life is this fairytale where nothing goes wrong and everything goes your way and everybody likes you and everybody's giving you an opportunity and everybody's singing your praises and telling you how great you are. Because that's all bullshit. You don't know who you are in those moments. You don't know who you are until life punches you in the face. Until you're faced with disappointment and setback, and everything seems to go wrong, and you gotta make a decision, "Do I fold or do I go?" 'Cause see, that's what pressure does. Pressure busts pipes and creates diamonds. Pressure exposes us.

02:31 CS: See, I know I struggle with ease and comfort. Being at this point in my life right now is hard for me because it's not a lot of pressure. There's no serious threats of violence. I really don't feel like I'm gonna fail. My experiences have shown me if I do these things the right way then they'll work out. And that's scary as hell because I thrive under pressure. I appreciate having my back against the wall and having to make decisions with very little information and I just gotta act off of instinct. What do I know? Who am I? Pressure exposes that and it is exposing you too. You see, you thought that you could handle extreme circumstances. You thought that you could handle setbacks. You thought that you wanted to be an entrepreneur. You thought that you wanted to go to medical school or law school, you thought that you were ready to be a parent, and that it was gonna be all easy. See you thought these things, but then all of a sudden you lost all your money. Your investor backed out. You got a full-time job and you got school and you gotta figure how you're gonna pay rent. Your kids get sick, baby's mom is gone, baby's dad's gone, kid has an illness. Who are you? How you are responding to life's setbacks, pit stops and downfalls is who you are.

04:25 CS: All of us want to think that we're built for the tough times. But the truth is many of us are not. Many of us have made a decision that when the going gets tough, well hell, our asses get going. And that's what pressure does. Pressure exposes you. You gotta work that job, you... Four days in on 18-hour shifts, you're tired. And you're still not making enough money at the end of the week and at the end of the month to take care of all your bills and your lady is giving you all type of heat because you're not the man that you're supposed to be. Pressure. What do you do? You turn to the bottle. You leave to go get high. You try to escape some other way. You spend your last few dollars at the strip club so they can tell you beautiful lies about how much of the man you think you are but when in reality, you are a lazy piece of shit. That's who you are.

05:30 CS: And because even when you're at work, you're not really working, which is why you ain't got a promotion, which is why your boss is giving you shit all the time. Because you keep effing up. You're not doing what you're supposed to be doing. Or maybe you are and it's just not working out. But for the most part, I've seen... No, I won't say that. I'll say I believe because I have seen people bust their ass and it just not work out. And so I don't wanna look down on anybody that that's your reality. So, if that's you, if you're the person busting your ass, locked in, putting in the work, and things just aren't going your way, not you, not you. I'm celebrating you because you understand pressure. Because you're getting up everyday, you responded to it, and you're doing what you're supposed to be doing. I'm talking to the lazy son of a bitch that has decided that they would rather have fun or... They just don't feel like doing the things that they need to do. And maybe I'm hard on it because I hate those lazy things in me. I hate those areas of weakness in my life. The lies that I tell to myself about what I'm going to do and not doing it. Pressure is exposing all of us.

06:54 CS: And so what do you do when you get pressed? How do you respond when things are not working the way that they're supposed to? Where do you turn to? Do you flee? Do you retreat? Do you just soak in your emotions and your feelings, and you try to find people to make you feel better about feeling bad? Is that who you are? You need your mom to validate you because you're not handling this shit at home and so she can dog out your wife or your girlfriend because you've been a lazy asshole, you're not taking care of your kids the way you're supposed to, not because you're trying, but because you're actually too lazy because you wanna binge Netflix all damn day long. Because you have to get through your 12th season on NBA 2K. Or you really, man, you've been struggling to beat this team on Madden. That's you, you lazy asshole. That's who I'm talking to. Because it's okay to fail when you're working your ass off, but you're not a failure because you're lazy, you're not even a quitter. You just suck.

08:09 CS: And the pressure exposes you because the moment that you get called out on those things, usually what happens, and I'm talking to men right now, like the... I'm talking to males. How about that? Because some of you are men, you lazy assholes, and the people around you are suffering because you're lazy. And so, what we know is that when men fail to lead, chaos follows. When men fail to lead, chaos follows. Show me any broken family, show me any wayward child, and I'm gonna show you a father who's been absent either physically or emotionally or completely neglectful or abusive. You show me. And I'm gonna show you a man who didn't do what he was supposed to do. And so some of you think well, there aren't really that many opportunities out here where I'm from. So these jobs, man, they're not really paying nothing. Man, the fast food restaurants are only paying $10 an hour. I'll bust my ass and if I worked 10 now, that's 40 hours a week, $400, $1600 a month. I can make that in the weekend on the block selling a little of this, a little of that.

09:25 CS: And so you think it's a good alternative because the money's coming faster. That's what you think. But then what happens when you get busted. You get busted and now you're going to be spending the next 5-10 years in jail. So let's do some quick math. If you were to just take that $10 an hour assuming you never got a raise, you're working this job that you feel like is a dead-end job. So you're making $10 an hour, working 40 hours a week, that's $400 a week, let's say four weeks in a month, that's $1600 a month. Let's multiply that times 12. Let me get a calculator. Say 1600 times 12... All right, that's $19,200 a year. That's tough. It's not that much money. Now multiply that by 10 years. All right, that's only $192,000 over 10 years. That's a tough way to make a living, but here's the thing, it's 2019, you got access to Uber if you have a vehicle. If you have a bike, you can deliver food, grocery deliveries, there's a bunch of different ways to make extra money.

10:56 CS: There's all types of service in this sharing economy where you can make extra money, so you can... If that was your reality, you're only gonna make $10 an hour for whatever reason, $19,200 a year for 10 years, that's $192,000, so let's say, but then you say, "Okay, well shoot, in two days, I can make that same $1600 and do that every two days." All right, so let's just say if you make $1600 a week because that's all you really gotta work, $1600 a week times four, that's $6400 a week, times 12, that's $76,800. All right? $76,800 in a year. That's a lot more money compared. But now let's say you get away with this for two years. So for two years, you're making that $76,800. So, after two years, you get arrested, and you go to jail for that 10 years. You go to jail for 10 years. You made $153,600 in two years. Now I told you, if you worked that $10 an hour, $1600 a month, that would have been $192,000 after 10 years. Now okay, you say, "Well, shoot. The math makes more sense to make $1600 a week." But you just got arrested. So your silly ass is going to jail over $1600 a week.

12:18 CS: You're gonna spend jail... Be in jail for 10 years. Alright, now you're making no money or you've seen 13th, you're ass is enslaved. That's what you're doing. You're making 50 cents an hour or some shit, making honey buns for a company or sewing up socks or some shit. Fighting wildfires and they're never gonna hire you to be a firefighter. Some shit like that because your ass decided to make some quick money because you thought it was smart. This is really stupid. It's... I hope you hear it the tone of my voice. This is a dumbass decision. Don't do it. Now, let's go back. In two years, you made $153,600. You go to jail for 10 years so that means you're making zero. Now in that same 10 years, for that $153,600 that you gave up 10 years of your freaking life for, you would have made $192,000. So you would have came out on top, and you wouldn't had a damn cell with somebody who's shitting in the same dang prison as you, you would have had some freedom, you would have been able to figure some other stuff out.

13:17 CS: But nope, your ass is in jail. You're reading a lot of books and telling a bunch of lies to other dudes who made some dumbass decisions, some of them wrongfully but eh, we don't know. Everybody's innocent and shit. Okay, now you're in jail 10 years. You had three children in that time when you were out when you were the man because you can get... Your little Charger and shit with the rims or whatever.

13:40 CS: Fresh pair of Jordans. Wait... You got somebody who can wait in line for your ass. Because that's what's really important. Alright, 10 years your three children now, they were four, six and two when you went to jail. You've been gone for 10 years. Ten years, their father is gone for $153,600. Now they have nothing. Mom has to try to figure it out. So kids are raising themself on the streets. Some hustler that got their hands on your daughter impressing her with the same bullshit you was chasing. Now what? Now what?

14:15 CS: You said, "Man, I'll do anything for my kids. The pressure's on me. I gotta eat, I gotta do what I gotta do to eat" and all that stuff, or whatever. How the hell are your kids eating now? How they eating now? What are they doing? You did all that, all that that you said that was for them. You were willing to go to jail for 10 years for them, and deal with everything that comes with that. But you had too much pride to go make $10 an hour for 10 years. Never look down on a man willing to bust his ass and get to work. I don't care what the job is. You never look at somebody down willing to get up every single day and get to work.

14:58 CS: And if you're in a position where you say, "Man, that's a hard working man. Let me try to help him." That's what you should do. You should try to create opportunities so that this person can increase their earning potential. You don't get to look down on somebody willing to bust their ass and work. Now you lazy suckers, you dudes, you scapegoats. You, that is trying to find the easy way out. You that is sacrificing your entire family, your children's future, their legacy, over some bullshit weed. Over selling some pills. You, you a sucker. I don't care what they tell you, you a sucker.

15:34 CS: And there's nothing okay about that. We gotta do better. And listen, I'm saying this, my father was a sucker. He lost his life because he loved the streets more than he loved his children. So he died when I was eight years old. Addicted to heroin. Got AIDS from sharing drug needles. Streets don't love nobody. This pressure is exposing you. It's exposing your pride and who you are because you think that a real man is somebody who's gonna really be willing to get out on the block or whatever it is, to go get it. No the real man is gonna say, "Yo, I'm taking my ass to work and I'm gonna keep working here and when I'm off of here, I'm gonna try to get a new trade or a new skill so I can get better."

16:15 CS: Pressure is exposing each of us. All of us are being exposed. What do you do? What do you do? You see, in order for a diamond to be formed... In order for a diamond, this precious pristine jewel to be formed, it has to go through intense heat and pressure over a prolonged period of time. Intense heat and pressure over a prolonged period of time. In each of us, God, the Creator of the universe is trying to pull the diamond from within us. And sometimes that means that we have to experience heat and pressure over a prolonged period of time. But you have to be willing to endure it.

17:27 CS: You have to be willing to suffer under it, you have to be willing to be pressed and pressed, and pressed, and molded into that stone, and then be willing to display yourself as a flawless beautiful creation. You see, there's no shame in having to dust yourself off, stand up, and being willing to face humiliation, setbacks, shame, stumbling, failure, but getting up... But getting up, getting up. Learning something new. Becoming whatever it is that we need to be, developing the skill set. Earning our way. There's nothing wrong in it, there's no shame in that. There's no shame in having to do it the long way. There's no shame of having to go get your real estate license, your insurance license and say, "You know what, man, I'm gonna figure this out."

18:50 CS: There's no shame in that, there's no shame in saying, I'm going to take it the hard way, and the long way in the beginning, in order for me to get there. I'm talking to you, young man, young woman, grown man, grown woman, there's no shame in that. What you should be ashamed of is not following through on those things that you say you were going to do because the pressure gets too hot, or gets too tough, or it's taking too long, so you just give up, and you say, "Man, I'm just checking out because it's not gonna work out for me." That's what you should be ashamed of. That's what's always pissing me off about myself is that weakness that doesn't see through the things that I say I'm going to do. Forget anybody else's expectations, I owe it to me to follow through.

19:39 CS: I owe it to me to overcome. I have not gone through these things, I have not experienced this heat and this pressure in my life, just to stay the same. I haven't made it through these trials just so that I can be the same person and neither have you. You see, your life, for some of you, is just working out. It's an easy road, it's smooth, it's frictionless, for some of you that's the reality, and I respect it, if that's your reality. And I appreciate it. I want that type of reality for my children. But the truth is, even if I try to make the road that they have to face as easy as possible, they're still gonna face their own trials. They're still going to be things that happen in their life that they need to overcome. The pressure, whether it be the pressure of expectations, the pressures of having privilege, the pressure of having desires, is going to eat at them, and it will expose them in the same way that it is exposing each of you, and the same way that pressure has exposed me.

21:00 CS: You see, pressure is not the problem. Pressure is a part of the process. Pressure is exposing us. What's inside of you is coming out the longer you're pressed. So who are you? Who are you now, and who do you need to become in order to endure the intense heat and pressure that is required to make you a diamond?

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21:33 CS: Thank you guys for tuning in. This is episode seven of the Art of Hope Show. Please like, subscribe, leave a comment, leave a five star review, and thank you for coming with me on this journey, helping me keeping a promise to myself of me putting myself out there, and being willing to be criticized a little bit. Well, I can take it, I can take the heat. So let me know what pressure you face. What's some pressure you face? How are you overcoming it? Don't fold. Don't bend. Don't break. The pressure's coming, but you built for it.

00:01 Speaker 1: Thank you for tuning in to The Art of Hope Show. My name is Chadwick Sapenter. I'm looking forward to today's show. In today's show, we're going to be discussing standards, how low standards impact us and why we should raise the standards that we have for ourself and for the people around us.

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00:23 Speaker 2: Welcome to The Art of Hope podcast with your host Chadwick Sapenter.

00:28 S1: If you're willing to dream bigger than whatever your environment is, then anything is possible.

00:33 S2: It's time to create the path to your success by overcoming your past, embracing your present and outlining your future.

00:40 S1: Today, that goal becomes a reality.

00:42 S2: Every journey begins with the first step. So let's begin The Art of Hope podcast.

00:51 S1: See, I grew up in a neighborhood where... Or I'll say neighborhoods where if you look out your door, you could see the result of low expectations everywhere. You could see what was happening because people had a low standard of how they expected themselves to carry on and how... And what outcomes that they expected. And so that's me growing up, seeing what low expectations does to an environment because if you have low expectations, then you're not hard on yourself when you don't achieve and achievement matters because you... For example, society will put low expectations on you to say, "Well, if you come from a certain place and you've had certain experiences, then you shouldn't be held to the same standard as other people. It's actually okay for you not to accomplish anything because of where you come from." And so what happens, though, is that typically people that come from poor areas, and they'll usually do this with black people, Mexican people, they will... I mean, we see it all the time. They lower the standard because there's a belief that you can't accomplish the same thing.

02:15 S1: There's some national merit scholarships that says, "Okay, if you qualify forward, if you're in the top 1%, but if you're black," or a term I never use like minority, right? I'm not... Ain't no minor about me. I never use that phrase. But if they put you on one of these categories, then they say, "Well, if you're in the top 3%, lowering the standard for you." I think there's an attempt to say there's been some hardships and injustices that have happened to specific groups of people, so we need to make some concessions to give them time to catch up. In a way, I get it. I understand the attempt, but I think in execution, basically, what it's saying is, "We don't think you're smart enough. We don't think you're capable enough so we wanna make a concession, you with your... You, so that you can... So that this is what it looks like to be equal because something inherently is inferior about you." And I think that's just nonsense, but forget externally, what people... What expectations people set for you or what standards people have for you because that doesn't matter so much. It's not the people outside of you whose expectations and standards have the greatest impact.

03:29 S1: What are your own personal standards? Are you pursuing excellence in everything that you do or are you giving yourself out? Are you pursuing excellence in everything that you do or have you given yourself a way out and made it okay for you to just fall short in certain areas? Because one of the things that I believe is that, if we raise the standard, then we raise the family. And if you raise the family, you raise the community. If you raise the community, you change the culture of the people group that you're around, but it starts with raising the standard forward within the family. Through one of my organisation, a non-profit, we work with a ton of young people. And my thing is I don't like talking about problems, I just wanna get my hands dirty. I'm gonna get in the streets and I'm going to try to be a solution toward some of these problems, but what often happens, we'll go into schools. And what you will see is the results of these low expectations and low standards. Teachers are struggling trying to get DeAndre to read instead of DeAndre dealing with the reading problem, DeAndre cusses out the teacher. And then the teacher calls the parent, and then the parent makes an excuse for the child because the parent's embarrassed at this also.

04:47 S1: One example I remember my wife, she was doing some student teaching at a middle school, and I don't know what book they were reading or whatever it is. And if you met my wife, is just... She's a sweetheart. She's an amazing woman. She's just laid back. She's chill. She's nice to everybody and she really deeply has a compassion for just people, all people. And so she's doing... They're going around the circle and having the kids read and she gets to this kid, I don't know his name, and it's not important 'cause I'm not trying to embarrass the kid because it's just a story, but she gets to him, and he's like, "Bitch, I told you I don't wanna read." He cusses her out. And my wife, I think, at that time, she was probably a lot more innocent than when she met me because you know, but at that time, she was a lot nicer. And so she was in shock that somebody would actually talk to her like this, especially a young person who she's just like, "I just asked him to read. I don't understand what happened." And so the parents come in and sit down with the principal and them, and then the mom does exactly what I just told you, she says, "Well, he told you he didn't wanna read." Now, this kid is screwed. Unless something has changed or somebody's intervened somewhere.

06:08 S1: I'm curious to know what's happened with this specific kid, but I can tell you tons of these stories where you have parents who lower the standard. Who say, "It's okay for you... The expectation is for you to excel and to be elite as an athlete." To be the best basketball, football player, the fastest kid. And so there's a standard of excellence when it comes to that sport. I think that's a good thing. But that standard is not matched when it comes to the other important, either equally or more important just depending on what matters to you, areas of your life. So for example, it's not okay for you to be a great athlete but a horrible student. Not to say... Now, some people actually have learning disabilities. There are things within their brain that they cannot control that prevent them from being able to learn and retain information. That is some people's story. Regardless of the color of their skin, we know that's the fact.

07:01 S1: Now, in those cases we should be getting people help. There are plenty of resources, especially if you're in America, there are resources at just about every school that can help you if you have a learning disability. Often what happens though is that people will be too embarrassed to actually get the help that they need. Nobody wants to admit that they have a learning disability. So instead of saying, "Hey, I actually have a disability, I need help. Let me get into the special education program." People will much rather pretend like everything's okay to avoid the stigma of being labeled as Special Ed or the kids call SPED. But here's the thing, you pretending you don't have a problem doesn't mean you don't have a problem and it doesn't make the problem go away. All it does is prevent you from actually getting the help by identifying the problem and solving it, taking advantage of the resources. But let's say your jump shot be off. Let you be in a situation to where you need extra training and parents are breaking their back to do these things.

08:03 S1: Now, here's the thing, I'm not attacking any specific group. I'm just telling you one from my own experiences, this is what I see. And then for me, who somebody who's deeply concerned about family and communities, especially families and communities of poor people not just poor people that are black or brown, but poor people in general, we see these things happening. And I'm somebody who's grown up extremely poor and I don't want that cycle repeated for my children. So I'm not speaking as an outsider. This is my lived experience. I know what low standards did to me and it wasn't until somebody called me out and said, "Look it's not okay. Your situation doesn't define you. Do something about your life. You can. It's just a matter of what you're gonna do. Stop making excuses. And I've had plenty of mentors. I've had coaches that all called me out and held me to a higher standard even when I wanted to leave it.

08:50 S1: My mother we grew up at the height of the crack era. We grew up in areas where it was violent and gangs were taken off in San Antonio and it was extremely violent. People were getting killed daily. These things were going on. But my mother no matter what was going on, how poor we are, no matter how many days we went out food, she never allowed the environment that we grew up in to dictate what our standard was. She said, "No, reading is important. So we began reading early. Education is important. All of these things. And so even when I acted in a way that was contrary, I knew what the standard was. It wasn't because the standard was lower for me, it's just because I wanted to rebel against it. So I say this, We need to raise the standards to raise the family.

09:35 S1: And if we raise the families then we raise the communities. What we have to do is take inventory and say, "Hey, am I giving myself a pass? Is my child doing something wrong and I'm not addressing it because I don't wanna deal with the confrontation or the conflict? Am I a dad who has been absent from my child's life and making an excuse, "My baby mama be tripping. Or I can't stand the kid's mom." Whatever it is. Are you somebody who's making an excuse for that situation? Have you said, "Well, you know what? I'm not taking care of my child or loving my son or whatever it is because some other... " You're lowering the standard and then you have other people who are making an excuse to say it was not their fault. It's not their fault.

10:26 S1: We have to assume 100% responsibility for the things that we've been given, the privilege to steward over by God. Our families, our children, our jobs, the environment, the community and place that we live in. We all have a responsibility to do our part to uplift those things and to cultivate those things and make them better than where they started. We have a responsibility to do so. But lower standards lower the culture. And if we continue to just lower the standards then what that means is that we will keep seeing struggle with reading and writing. We will say, "Well, that's just not for... " And I have people saying this all the time, that somehow that whether it's the school system is set up for black kids to fail because black kids can't sit... Nonsense like that. Kids can sit still and can learn. We have to just make that important. And it starts at home. It starts with saying, "You know what? I struggle with math or I struggle with reading or whatever it is. But my kids won't. So I'm gonna make sure that I am introducing them to these things at a young age." Sometimes it means we gotta turn the TV off and we have to make it a priority to be getting these things done. We have to help our kids, our sons, our daughters understand that it's not okay to just pass, that there's an expectation for you to be excellent. Sometimes you'll fall short of that expectation but it doesn't change the expectation. The standard is the standard.

12:01 S1: And that's one of the things with my sons, I have a 16 year old and I have younger sons that is six, four and almost two. And my goal with them is just to understand, "Listen, you were created for a purpose. You were made by God to be great." And I've tried to reinforce this since they were little kids and get them to understand that the standard is the standard. The expectation does not change just because your feelings change. The expectation is not lowered just because you don't feel like it. Nobody cares. Nobody cares how you feel. The standard is the standard. So we have to keep the standard high and even... Listen, the problem that we often have in society is not that people have set too high standards and fell short of them. That's not the problem. The problem is often that people have set their standards too low and actually achieved it. Have set the standards too low and actually achieved it.

13:01 S1: We gotta raise those standards, and we gotta set higher expectations for what we expect for ourselves, what we expect for our children, what we expect for our families, and then how we plan to be involved in the communities. Because what happens is this, because you have a lower standard, we accept nonsense. And so I'm not trying to offend anybody, and I'm not trying to say, "Well hey, I'm better than you, so do it my way." What I'm saying is that, we have thousands of years of history where we can look at cultures, we can look at European cultures, we can look at African cultures, we can look at Asian cultures, we can look at... We can look at communities north, south, east and west, and we can say, "Hey lower standards have led to bad things." And we have plenty examples of those things. And so what I'm saying is this, if we will raise our standards, we can raise our, the families, so we should... It starts there, it starts with raising your own personal standards, raising the standards that you have within your own family, and then the standards in the community change as a result of that.

14:18 S1: And as you start to introduce a higher standard, the culture of whatever that community group will change, and it's across the board. We accept this notion that it's okay for grown men to not take responsibility, right? We call 18, 19, 20, 21, 25-year-old men, "Oh, he's just a kid." No. No. You don't get to just be a boy forever, adolescence is some bullshit, adolescence is some straight BS. You don't get to figure it out and play around until you're 30. There's not a magic age where all of a sudden, "Oh now I get it, I've grown up." That's not how it works, we gotta take responsibility now. Young men, man up, young women, woman up. Raise the standard for what you expect for yourself, what you expect for your community, and what you will tolerate for yourself. And so, I believe that if we have strong men, we will have better communities. I believe that if we have men willing to lead in sacrificing for their families, our families will be stronger.

15:26 S1: I believe that if we have men who are being altruistic, putting the needs of others before themselves, and leading, being willing to stand up for what's right no matter what culture says. Being able to determine that regardless of what's going on, here's how I'm operating. If we do that, I think our society will be better, then our world will be better. So thank you guys for tuning in, my name is Chadwick Sapenter, I don't have the answers, I'm not claiming to have all the answers, I'm just on here keeping a promise to myself, you don't have to like what I say, you don't even have to like how I say it, I don't even care. This ain't about you, this is about me keeping a promise to myself, and in the process, if I can help other people, I wanna do so.

16:09 S1: So tune in next time, thank you guys. Tell me, where do you see low standards having a negative impact? What can we be doing better? What does it mean to raise standards for yourself and for your own family? Where have you been making excuses in lowering the standard? I wanna know, I wanna hear all about it. Thank you guys for tuning in, looking forward to next time, have a great day.

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00:00 Speaker 1: Welcome to The Art of Hope podcast, with your host Chadwick Sapenter.

00:08 Chadwick Sapenter: If you're willing to dream bigger than whatever your environment is, then anything is possible.

00:13 S1: It's time to create the path to your success by overcoming your past, embracing your present and outlining your future.

00:20 CS: Today that goal becomes a reality.

00:22 S1: Every journey begins with the first step. So let's begin The Art of Hope podcast.

00:31 CS: Welcome to The Art Of Hope Show. My name is Chadwick Sapenter. Thank you guys for tuning in. This is episode number four. If you are new to this podcast, let me explain a little bit about what's happening here. I made a promise to myself at the beginning of the 2019 that I was gonna do one podcast episode a week. I started off very much scripted, trying to be perfect when it came to putting out a podcast, and that became too time consuming. I run two other businesses. I got a non-profit. I got four kids. I got a wife. I just didn't have as much time to dedicate to writing out the perfect podcast. So what I decided to do was say, "You know what, I can't let that prevent me from following through on my goal and what I said I was going to do." Because it's so important that I'm honest with myself. That I don't lie to myself. That I don't say I'm gonna commit and do things, and then I don't follow through because that's just a bad habit all around.

01:27 CS: So, what you're witnessing here on The Art of Hope Show in this version, is me keeping a promise to myself. And so I'm inviting you all in on this journey of me keeping this promise to myself in hopes that it reminds you that you need to keep some promises to yourself, also. It's not about perfection. It's not about having it all figured out. It's just about execution. You're better off starting, even if it's an imperfect start, than never starting at all. Too many of us have dreams that we've been sitting on that we never execute upon. So, in today's episode, we're gonna be talking about hope. We're gonna be asking a question like, "Why is this show named The Art of Hope? What is hope?" So let me ask you, when you think of the word hope, what comes to mind? What comes to mind? Is it a politician? Is it a promise? Is it bullshit, right? When you think of the word hope, does it just sound like some fluffy nonsense as useless? Is it a job? Is it a relationship, a situation, a goal? Has someone let you down? So you think about how that feels to have hope and then the air to be let out of your tire, so to speak.

02:39 CS: Was it someone who helped you out? Was it a teacher, a pastor, a friend? What is the first thing you think about when you think of the word hope? And so, let's just be clear here, I think hope is a good thing. I think false hope is bad. False hope is somebody setting high expectations about what they're going to do, how they're gonna... Politicians do this all the time. They the greatest bullshit artists of all time, no matter who they are. And I don't care about politics, but I'm just telling you, this is an example we can all connect on. Making a bunch of promises about what they're going to deliver and then when it all begins, they let you down. They don't deliver. And if you're a person that believed in them, and believed in their message, then you feel sad. You feel let down. You feel like you've been taken. You feel like somebody took advantage of you. So false hope is horrible. False hope is lies. It's bullshit. It's not tangible. False hope is air.

03:36 CS: I'm talking about real hope. I'm talking about real hope like just the belief that you can. The belief that life can be better than what it currently is. The belief that there are other opportunities out there than what I'm currently seeing. That's the hope that I'm talking about. And see, now it matters what you believe when you hear or see the word hope because what we believe about our future opportunities and outcomes is most likely shaped by our past experiences and interactions. What we believe about our future opportunities and outcomes is mostly shaped by our past experiences and interactions. So you think about it, every great accomplishment began after someone believed that they could actually accomplish it. Now here's the thing, a person may have set off on a great journey and you... This is America, we have tons of amazing stories about people who have done what people thought was impossible.

04:45 CS: The fact that I'm talking on a microphone right now, you're listening to it on a device, somewhere, some type of device, nowhere near me, is something that people thought was impossible. But somebody had to say, "I'ma take the first step. I don't know if it can actually get done. I don't know if I can be more than what the situation is, but I'ma go ahead and take the next step." See, every great accomplishment began after someone believed that they could accomplish it. Now, maybe in the beginning they didn't know all of the details, or have certainty of what the outcome would be, but what they had was a vision of something more than what it is. A desire to do something. What they had was hope. Now, maybe it wasn't called that, but any entrepreneur, anybody started anything just had hope like, "But I think this thing can work." And see the truth of it is, is this, and most of us will realize this, that life can be hard and failure can be fatal and dreams are crushed for many people, before they ever get out of bed. Life is hard.

05:49 CS: Anybody telling you that if you just follow these next few steps, and that everything's gonna work out, and it's gonna be this oversimplified version of this beautifully packaged solution wrapped up in a bow and if you just do these things, or if you just think positive or whatever the bullshit is that people are saying now. I'm not saying that. Life is hard. It's gonna bust you in your ass sometimes. Sometimes you're gonna get up and you're not gonna wanna get up. Sometimes you're going to fail and you're going to fail miserably. You're gonna fail hard. You're gonna fail publicly, and you're gonna feel the shame and the weight that comes from that. I know I have. Failure can feel fatal. Sometimes our dreams are crushed by our own actions. But for many, and I would say for most people in this beautiful country that we live in, they're crushed before they even get out of bed. People are waking up... No, check that, people are going to sleep believing life is never going to get better and they're waking up to that reality. They don't have hope. See, hope is the fuel we need to convince us to take a step. Notice I didn't say a perfect step, or even the right step, just a step, just man, just I don't know, I'ma go.

07:06 CS: Taking one step, followed by another step, and another, and another, and another is really all it takes. Every great accomplishment is a series of individual steps. Now, it's hard to see through the clouds of your situation. Sometimes it's hard, sometimes all you see is just darkness, uncertainty, hopelessness. Sometimes it's hard to see through the clouds of your situation if all you do is just stare at the immediate situation in front of you. If all you're doing is paying attention to your immediate reality, what's going on, you just look deeper and it's like, "Man, I have no idea how I'm gonna get out of this, life seems like it sucks." If all you do is just stare at that, it's hard to see through that. Now, you may not be able to see deep into the clouds or into the situation, but you really don't have to see all the way through, you don't have to see how it all ends. You just need to trust the next step in front of you. So if you can look down, so if it's foggy all around you, all you have to do is look down. Like, "Look, okay, can I take the next step?" Okay, I'm not gonna step into a pothole, I'm not falling off a cliff here. Okay, take the next step.

08:22 CS: Take a deep breath, you feel a little bit better, more confident, "Okay, I'll take the next step." And that's really it, that next step right in front of you, you don't have to have it all figured out. Perfection is a myth. Perfection is a myth. Not one person has executed perfectly the plan that they set out. Now, some of those changes may have been small, some of them may have been big, some of the things... Some of the products that we use right now, like this is never what they were intended to be used for. But somehow, this thing, this mistake turned it to be a great thing. You just gotta be able to see the step in front of you. You see I also say this, hopelessness, hopelessness, is the most dangerous disease we have. Hopelessness leads to a type of desperation, sedentation, like you're desperate, like you just, "Oh my gosh," like... You make dumb choices because you think... You have the scarcity mindset. You don't think that there's enough out there or you don't think that there's even a opportunity, so this is why people will take dumb chances with their life for what seems like small returns. Desperation is created.

09:36 CS: Sometimes we think that there is a... Like we don't have an abundant mindset, right like one of my taglines, one of my mottos that I've lived with for a long time is, think and live abundantly. Not that I got it all figured out, but my mindset is never going to be limited by my immediate situation. So desperation can set in when we have hopelessness. The other thing that sets in is sedentation, like a sedentary life, just sitting there like you become stagnant, you don't move, right. Like you just say, "Ah, well, you know what, I can't do anything anyway, so why even try? There's no point. That's for them, it's not gonna happen." And then we start listing out all the reasons and people that are examples of why life will never be more than what it is. So we can rationalize it because my mom, you know, this is just kind of what happened, because of where I grew up, because my mom was this, or my dad wasn't around, or I grew up in a really rough neighborhood. So, you know, it's not... You know, it's just tough out here.

10:42 CS: And then you got a whole damn world lining up to pat you on the back for making these damn excuses. You've got people who never lived through any of that stuff telling you it's okay for you to just accept the sad reality, to just be hopeless. I mean, everywhere these people are getting the biggest spotlights in the world to tell you that it's okay to not care, that it's okay to just be hopeless, that it's okay for you to sit down and accept your sad ass reality. You got to get them people out of your life, you got to get them people out of your ear. Stop listening to these people that want to tell you that it's okay to be a perpetual victim. What kind of shit is that? Like, how is that even possible? Like how can you believe that?

11:22 CS: Let's say for example, let's you're a person living in the middle of one of these tough situations, life is hard, you're in a project somewhere, you're in the trailer park somewhere, dad's gone, mom working five jobs, or mom's a drug addict, a pill head, whatever it is, or whatever, I don't know. Keep listening. You're poor, you don't have food, you go to shitty schools, whatever it is. Let's say this is your reality. How does it help you to just throw in the towel? How does it help you to accept that? You have just decided that no matter what, life is never going to change. It takes no effort for you to accept that reality. So what do you do? You say, "All right, well, you know, I'ma pop a pill, take a smoke, whatever, to get my mind off of these things. I'ma stay drunk all day. I'ma make myself a zombie so I don't have to deal with my reality." Now you see it all the time, like I know I saw it all the time growing up, I see it now. But how does that help you? Like it doesn't, hopelessness is a dangerous disease, and it's an addictive drug. You gotta fight that.

12:32 CS: And so, I would go a step further. I would say hopelessness is the most dangerous disease we have. Hopelessness leads to a type of desperation and sedentation, like I just said, and fear that has caused more damage than I think we will ever understand. You look at young women who don't value their body and I've seen it, I've seen with kids in the schools that we're in, and you see, you hear stories of kids, so and so let this group of guys do ABC to her for a bag of Cheetos or $5 in cash up or whatever. That sounds crazy. It is, it's nuts, but it's the reality. When you are hopeless it leads and causes more damage than we could ever imagine. Why do you think you got so many young kids taking drugs and giving up on life? Throwing away dreams? Not caring in school? All of those things, right? And so, for me, I know all too well the weight of hopelessness and what it feels like. So, for a large part of my life, up until I was about seven and a half or eight years old, I just, I believed that death was better than life. I knew that it was inevitable that I was never going to make it to an old age.

13:55 CS: I'm 37 years old now, this is, I'm on borrowed time as far as I'm concerned. I never imagined that this is where I would be. I never imagined that it would even be possible for me to be living the life that I'm living right now, I couldn't see past it, see, I pretty much decided that death was better than the inner pain I was wrestling with and I... I use the word "wrestled" loosely, mostly the inner pain kicked my ass for most of my life, to a point to where the first time I committed... Tried to commit suicide was right after my dad's funeral about eight-years-old, and then I can't count the amount of thoughts or times in between there that I had either considered or actively attempted to commit suicide. And it took me until I was about 30-years-old, a little bit after I met my wife and we got married, where I felt free for the first time. Now it wasn't my wife, it wasn't getting married, like, "Oh my gosh, you got married, and it just... " No, it didn't... No, that's not the shit that's... That didn't do it, right? 'Cause my wife wrestled with me with this, right? So I just wanna be clear on that. That's not what it is, I'm just telling you that's the amount of time that it took me to wrestle with these things.

15:21 CS: And a lot of it was this, it was like, people will try to convince you or say stuff like, "How dare you believe that you can... Who are you to even be thinking that life can be better?" I used to think the craziest stuff and people thought I was an idiot or foolish because reality said that it's not realistic, and there's levels to it, right? So even I'm thinking about my senior high school, I was playing football. This is the first time I'm at one high school for a whole year 'cause I went to four different high schools. And this ain't no sad ass story, so don't be feeling sorry for me, I'm just telling you a story, so I just gotta caveat that, I don't need no damn sympathy. So, let me continue. So I go, I'm getting these calls from coaches, and they're saying, "Hey Chad, we really, we like you, we would like you to come to our college." Now, at the time I had never heard of college before, I didn't know the place existed, I didn't know it was a thing. I didn't know that, what is college, what are we even talking about? And so I'm like, "Man, this sounds good", because at the time I'm in this foster home and what comes next after you leave the foster home is homelessness, right? You sleep on the streets. So I go to my counselor and very stereotypical, Texas high school football shit, where the town is, the town revolves around football, that's just kind of what it was.

16:54 CS: You go watch Friday Night Lights, the TV series or the movie, and it'll give you a good idea of just what I'm talking about, just how kind of ridiculous it is. Well, anyway, I go to my guidance counselor and I'm like, "Hey Miss", and she's super excited to see me, a little bit over the top, right? And at first, she's like, "Chad, what can I help you with? If there's anything I can do for you, you let me know, anything." And so, I told her, I was like, "Look Miss, I just need to figure out how I can graduate on time so I can actually get to college 'cause I keep hearing about this place and it sounds interesting and to be completely honest, my alternatives are the streets." And so she says, "You know what, you know what, I'm sure it's no big deal. I'll help you, you tell me, give me one second, let me go pull your file, and I'm sure it'll be no big deal, we can get this done." So I'm like, "Perfect, I came to the right place" and so I sat there for about, it seemed like an hour, right? It's probably about five minutes. And then my counselor she comes back and she pulls out my file and she starts going through it.

18:01 CS: And have you ever... Have you seen somebody when you can tell when physically when somebody goes from being excited to feeling deflated like, "Oh, this is not good." So I see her go through these stages of hyper-excitement to, "Oh, ooh", and then that really, really sulking, "Oh shit, this is bad." And she once you got to, "Oh shit, this is bad", she turned around and looked at me and said, "Hey Chad, let me ask you a question." And I was like, "Yes ma'am", she said, "So you're a foster kid, right?" And I said, "Yes ma'am." She says, "Well, I don't really know how to tell you this, but you should just drop out right now because it's not realistic for you to go to college. You're a foster kid, and y'all just don't do stuff like that". And then this crazy lady sent me out the office, right? Now here's the thing, she had a belief about me, not because of me, but because of what she thought were my limitations. And so when after I graduated right? She was like, "Oh my gosh, you made it." Right? She was shocked.

19:25 CS: But most of the time is this, is that when you believe that you can accomplish a thing, when you can overcome a circumstance, people will look at you like, "Where on earth do you get the nerve to believe that you could be more than your environment? After all, isn't that all that matters? What do you think you are?" People will literally look at you, ask you, "Who the hell do you think you are to not be a victim of your circumstances like all the other damn victims that are out there?" Often people want to reduce you to your worst moment or the lowest point in your life. For how dare a slave believe they can rise above their bondage and become something or someone of value. The thing that most people don't understand is that the slave, even at their lowest point had value. Inside of them was the person they would eventually become, their chains didn't change that. Does that make sense? Their chains did not change who they already were. It was already inside of them.

20:37 CS: It was already there. The chains didn't change the fact that they were merely a physical obstacle to a spiritual destination. Hey, that's a bar, right? The chains, the chains didn't change the fact that they were already significant. They already had something inside of them. The chains were merely... They were a physical obstacle to a spiritual destination. And the beautiful thing is our spirits cannot be tamed. Our spirits cannot be tamed. Destiny will have its way. Now what we are supposed to be, harasses us and haunts us until we do something about it. Even people who've given up on their dreams are still haunted by those dreams. A good example is this, you know the guy that was all-American football, basketball, baseball player in high school, they made some choices or gave up or the classic, "Coach didn't like me," nonsense. You know this guy or this woman, you know this person, you do. But even now, it's been 30 years, and they still are sick in life, because of what they could have been then, the dream... It never went away. They are still haunted by it by today.

22:13 CS: Walk by any cemetery, you will see more unfulfilled lives, not because people fail, but because they believe the lie and let the physical obstacle, whatever it may have been, hold them back from reaching their spiritual destination. But like I said, what we are supposed to be harasses us and haunts us until we do something about it. Often, and I'm gonna say mostly, most of the time, people never take action. They may start with a dream and then immediately convince themselves that achieving that dream or reaching that destination is impossible because of where they're from, their lack of education. They may believe that because someone told them they weren't smart, that they are too dumb. Taking action, no matter how micro the action is, helps to chip away at the wall of excuses we build between where we are and where we wanna be. It's that simple. Taking action matters. Micro-action, baby steps. One step, one foot in front of the other. Taking action no matter how small it is, it helps to chip away of the wall of excuses. 'Cause you start to realize like, "Oh okay, this isn't that hard," right? This is not that hard.

23:50 CS: I didn't think I could take one step, but I did. Now take one more. Now take one more. And then eventually the damn wall will come down. Just a little chip, a little chip in it, a little crack in the ice, just do it and it will take the wall of excuses that we've built in between where we are and where we wanna be. It'll knock that shit down, man. I'm telling you right now, it will. I don't care what anybody says, I'm telling you it will. And so the things that we fear the most are... The things that we fear the most are taking action. We get terrified of what could happen after that first step. So if fear was a vampire draining us of hope, robbing our dreams, then action is the sunlight. Action is the cross, action is a wooden stake through the heart of fear, right? Action is it. Action is the garlic necklace for the vampire of fear. You have to take action to defeat fear. Action. The next step, the next step, not the perfect step, but just the next step, man. I didn't say perfect action, just action. Action scares the shit out of fear. And so the dictionary describes fear as this, "Fear is a feeling of expectation and desire for certain things to happen. A feeling of trust, wants something to happen or be the case."

24:49 CS: And then it defines hopeless as, "A feeling or state of despair, lack of hope." So here's how I would define hopelessness. Hopelessness is the exchange of dreams and belief for fear, and the elimination of faith resulting in paralysis. Hopelessness is a dangerous thing. So in closing I'm just gonna say this. Take the next step. Hope is a good thing, false hope is some bullshit, but believing that your reality can be better than what it is today, or what it has been in the past, is the first step to actually taking action towards making that a reality. Now the belief without action is nonsense. Right? I think in James, "Faith without works is dead." What are you talking about? You don't believe that your reality can be better if you don't take the first step. Don't lie to yourself, take the first step. Not a perfect step, not all the answers, but just take the next step. And so in closing is this, so what... I'll ask you this question, "What have you been afraid to take action on? Have you allowed hopelessness to suffocate you? Are you currently paralyzed because of hopelessness? What lies have you believed? [27:00] ____.

27:01 CS: Please leave a comment, let me know what questions you have. Leave us a five star review. Don't be giving me no bullshit one star, I don't want that. If I suck, just hit me up, right. But again, make that promise to your yourself, take action towards it and just keep going. You have a great day.

00:00 Speaker 1: Being terrified, how are you dealing with that it in your own life? Not like Boogeyman-scary-movie fear, forget all that. That's nonsense. I'm talking about petrified-at-failure fear, like I just don't wanna take the next step. Sometimes, it's because you're afraid you might fail, other times it's because you think you might actually succeed.

00:24 Speaker 2: Welcome to The Art of Hope podcast, with your host, Chadwick Sapenter.

00:29 Chadwick Sapenter: If you're willing to dream bigger than whatever your environment is, then anything is possible.

00:33 S2: It's time to create the path to your success by overcoming your past, embracing your present, and outlining your future.

00:41 CS: Today, that goal becomes a reality.

00:43 S2: Every journey begins with the first step. So, let's begin The Art of Hope podcast.

00:51 CS: Welcome to the Art of Hope show. I'm your hope dealer and adversity expert, Chadwick Sapenter. Thank you for tuning in. I have a great show planned for you today, but before we begin, leave me a five-star review and share this podcast with someone you know who needs to hear this message.

01:08 CS: One of my mentors told me one time, Gigi, she came up to me and this is... She's an amazing woman, has overcome some of the most incredible experiences that you could ever imagine to just be a beacon of light. Gigi. I had started this business and it was actually working. And it was just when we... The first time I launched Little Book of Words, before it was what it is now. But one of... The first title that I launched, I mean, it took off, and I was terrified. I had just came from running a $40 million real estate empire. I thought I was gonna be the next Barbara Corcoran. Me and my partner had built this company and things just took off. I'll share that story another day, but what ended up happening is the recession hit. We lose everything, go through a whole period of just trauma, which turned out to be the best thing. And in the process of that, I ended up writing this book, the first little book, Little Book of Words Every Foster Kid Should Know. And this was a real shitty book. Well, the content was good but the way it looked was, I mean, it was horrible. And so what I did is... I'm a hustler, I know how to get stuff done. I borrowed 100 bucks. I got the books printed. I accidentally sent out a email, thousands of books got sold, and then thousands more got sold, and then thousands more, and it just took off.

02:50 CS: And then all of a sudden I said, "You know what I'm gonna do?" I couldn't find a publishing company. Even with the sales, I had no publishing company. Anywhere that I reached out to, they... I mean, it was a crappy product, unedited, looked a mess. Nobody really wanted to deal with it and nobody's... They're like, "Yeah, no, that's not how it works. Go get a agent, come back to us." All of those things. But anyway, I had initially reached out to Gigi to guide me 'cause she's a extremely successful businesswoman and understood just where I was coming from, from a background standpoint. And she was spending the time with me, willing to help me, giving me guidance, and then I started listening and it actually started working. Things started changing. It went from being an idea to turning into a business, and now I got an idea of how to scale the business, and it's very tangible what to do next. But then all of a sudden I just stopped, I got terrified. The pain of our real estate business that it just went into the dumpster unexpectedly, the pain from there, and not just the actual real estate business, but more so what I was afraid about was the pain of the person that I actually had become. If I look back, I despised myself. All I cared about was money, period. There was nothing else that mattered. I was a disgusting human, a very low version of a man.

04:29 CS: The ends, or I guess, the means always justified the ends. Whatever I had to do, I was willing to do it. And in some instances, that was a good quality, just being willing to go make it happen. But at some point, you have to ask yourself, what is the price tag that you put on your own integrity and character? And looking back at that point, it was a pretty low number. As this business started to succeed, I started to get afraid because what I didn't want to do was become that guy again, that greedy self-indulged, selfish guy. And so, instead of pushing harder, which is what I normally do, and going longer and doing more, I just stopped. I stopped returning phone calls. I stopped showing up to meetings. I pushed people away. The fact that it was actually working terrified me because success comes with some expectations, but what if it's not the right quality? And again, like I said in episode one, I was comparing my version one to Chicken Soup for the Soul's version 100 or the For Dummies company's version 100. I was comparing where they are now to where I'm starting. And it terrified me because I wasn't measuring up. And those were my expectation, that higher standards for where I thought I should be, who I thought I should be. And just doing the work, although in the beginning was enough, it terrified me because I couldn't do everything that I needed.

06:00 CS: And so, anyway, one day, I was at a coffee shop in Austin, and it's a beautiful Saturday morning. And I'm there with one of... My best friend, one of my business partners and we were there just having a cup of coffee, brain-storming and just kinda catching up since this last business we had had, failed. And in comes... Walking, I guess, down the street in Austin, it was Gigi and her husband, and they just... I mean, they looked like they were having the best day of their life. She had a beautiful dress, he's smiling, these are just awesome. You take a picture, and you're like, "Man, that's what a good day looks like." And so, Gigi notices us and her husband had been a mentor to my best friend, Jason.

06:54 CS: And Gigi walks into the coffee shop and they talk, and she gives me a hug and she's always just warm and just a beautiful spirit, the energy is just good. You just know this is a good person. And Gigi comes up to me and it's just me and her, she didn't call me out in front of everybody, only I can hear her. She says, "Chad I hadn't heard from you in a while, and I hope you're okay." And I was like "Yes ma'am." And then she said, "Chad, you know, what's your a problem?" And I didn't say anything because I didn't really want to know what my problem was. She said, "Chad you are afraid to succeed, you don't think you deserve it." And she is whispering this to me and tears are starting to boil up in my face because she is right, I am terrified to succeed. And I thought it was because I was concerned about being that... The guy I was before, but it was worse than that, I was terrified to succeed and she hated it, she said, "You don't think you deserve it." She said, "Chad, you still think you are that little abandoned boy." And I was just rocked. I just put my head down and I couldn't say anything, but she said, "It's gonna be okay."

08:24 CS: Well anyway, she was right, I was afraid and somehow I had allowed the abuse I've experienced as a child, the abandonment, the homelessness, the foster care, all of the trauma, the death, the poverty to just consume me, to where there was a gunner like a general. Like on a truck they put the general, "You can't go over this speed." So anytime I got close to going over that peak... Because that is what it is, when you are starting something, whatever it is, you go through a point to where you feel like you can't do it, and then you take the first step and then you start to actually make progress and it is hard as, I don't know what, the climb up that hill but I would get right to that point... So I would get right at the peak, where I was gonna be coming on the other side of it, and this thing, this idea, whatever it was, could actually become something and then I would just quit. And it wouldn't be like, "Hey I quit." I would just fail to launch, I just wouldn't start. I had a general. Something was right there, just, boom, I couldn't get over it. And then I would just have to go back down to a, quote unquote, normal speed.

09:50 CS: So fear sucks, because it is bullshit, it's not real, it's basically we've curated an outcome, we've created an outcome in our mind of what could possibly go wrong, or what could possibly stop us or get in our way. And here's the thing, I am not even talking... Like not being on the airplane fright. Not that. I'll talk more about that stuff in another episode. What I am talking about right now, is the fear of just trying, of doing, of taking the next step, of asking that person out or whatever it is, we have already decided in our mind that the outcome is gonna be negative and so we don't take the step and here's the thing, we have no idea if the outcome is actually gonna be negative. We've just already decided what the outcome is gonna be before we even took the first step. And that is what I was doing.

10:57 CS: So even with this podcast, like the last episode 1.1, I looked up and I am recording the whole dang thing. So if you think the audio was bad, I didn't even have the microphone plugged in. But I'm like, "I am not re-recording it it's going up." I'm gonna... There is no perfection, there is no such thing as perfection, there's nothing there... There is nothing there, but taking the next step, that's all you have. Fear is nonsense, it's a liar, it is false evidence appearing real, it is an illusion, a mirage it is a hologram. It is not real and you don't know it's not real, until you start walking closer towards it. All of what we want, the person that we can be, all of it, is on the other side of us walking through fear. We have to push through it.

11:43 CS: Like right now, like that thing that you're most afraid of... Like a lot of us, we're afraid of being exposed. We think, "Man if it comes out that I was this or I did this, or I enjoyed whatever it is, man there's no way that these people could accept me." And you don't even think you can accept yourself, you are living perpetually in fear. Never never never allow fear to stop you from becoming who you can be, because you just don't know until you walk through it.

12:11 CS: Listen, you've gotta put your head down, you've gotta grab your nuts, you've gotta hold on. Like gird up your loins and show yourself a man. Gird up your loins and show yourself a woman. Pick up your cuffs, pick up your dress and walk through it. Fear shouldn't stop you. Like there's nothing that can stop you from doing what it is that you put your mind to, except you. There's nothing that can stop you. It is almost as if the moment that you decide that you are not going to allow fear to control you, it's as if God will move things around to propel you closer not to the fear but through the fear. But you never know unless you're willing to take that step. Don't allow fear to control you. Don't allow the fear of negative outcomes. Don't allow fear of potential set backs, of getting it wrong, of judgment, or whatever it is, don't allow that to stop you from taking the next step.

13:28 CS: Now, here's the thing, you can minimize some of the fear you have by being prepared, by doing a little bit of front end work to find out, "Okay, let me... The things that I can control, let me make sure I'm in a position to be able to control those things." This is gonna help eliminate fear. At least you get up in a plane and if you have a parachute on, you feel a little bit more comfortable about jumping your ass out the plane. I ain't jumping out of planes, but you get what I'm saying. The metaphorical plane of your life. You've got a parachute on, you're like, "Cool." Now, if you know you don't got a parachute and you've gotta jump out the plane, you're like, "I don't know how this is gonna happen." But if you've got a parachute, you feel a little bit prepared 'cause at least you know you think, "Alright, this is it."

14:11 CS: Now, life don't come with parachutes all the time. It doesn't. Sometimes you've just got to jump. I just want you to fight for your dreams. I want you to fight for your goals. I want you to fight for your family. I want you to fight for the outcome that you want. Don't give up on yourself. Where you are now is not where you have to be. You are not helpless, hopeless, passionless. That is not who you are. That may be how you're living, but that is not who you are. You were created with a purpose. All you have to do is take the steps to accomplish and identify what that purpose is. Don't allow fear to control your life.

15:00 CS: Now here's the thing, watch what boldness does. You taking bold steps, even uncertain steps, even unidentified steps, you taking bold steps will embolden people around you. Watch how your family looks at you. Watch how your friends look at you. Watch how your co-workers. Watch how your employees look at you. People want to follow people that say, "No. I may be afraid, but I'm gonna do it anyway." Go do it anyway.

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15:37 CS: Listen. Thank you guys for tuning in. Like I said, this is The Art of Hope podcast. This is episode 1.2, but really two. This is me keeping a promise to myself. Not perfection. I think every episode will get better. I'm not pursuing perfection because I don't think it exists. But what I will do is I'm gonna show up, I'm gonna these things done. I will get this done. I'm not gonna let fear stop me. I'm not gonna let the fallacy of perfection prevent me from just executing and getting it done. What I wanna do is this, is I wanna motivate you. I wanna inspire you. And I want you to believe in you. You don't gotta believe in me. You don't even gotta like me. What I want you to do is to be able to get up and look in that mirror and say, "You know what, this shit ain't that bad. I could take the next step." So, I'm gonna get better every week. So, keep tuning in. Tell your friends about it. I'm looking forward to next time. Go out there, believe in yourself, believe in what you can do, and kick fear dead in the ass. Thank you for tuning in.